Brexit Diaries: It's crunch time, again

UK Prime Minister Theresa May has invited her whole cabinet and told them to bring their pajamas. The talks about what kind of Brexit the government can finally agree on could well run into the night. So it will be like back at school, when the 20 or so cabinet members gather on Friday for her weekend retreat at Chequers, the prime minister's country residence. But the charades will be restricted to the ins and outs of the European Court of Justice, the customs union and its manifold modifications, the single market for goods or for everything and the rest of the whole Brexit mess. 

May's aide Ollie Robbins has warned participants about some stark facts. It's time to let go of dream projects like frictionless borders with "Max-Fac," a free market for goods without free movement for people, a super special custom made deal for Britain and so on. There are about two months of negotiating time till the October Brexit summit. After that, there may be another six weeks of overtime until early December. By then, the clock will have run out. Beware of a hard Brexit!

Read more: UK is 'making a mess' of Brexit, Scotland's Nicola Sturgeon tells DW

Only two viable solutions remain in play after months of the cabinet negotiating with itself, says Robbins. One is a free trade agreement like the European Union-Canada deal and the other is the Norway solution. The first is a bare minimum economically and the second would make the UK into a rule taker. Not taking back control, however, would leave the hard Brexiteers behind Foreign Secretary Boris Johnson and his brethren apoplectic.

So what to expect? May is said to be planning further concessions to the EU in order to soften a deal. But will this be enough to become a viable basis for negotiations with the bloc? The prime minister will go to Berlin on Thursday in order to talk this through with Angela Merkel. Some observers in London are expecting another fudge agreement, and the German chancellor knows a fudge agreement when she sees one. 

So it will be crunch time at Chequers. The government will finally have to take a stand on Brexit. They can't postpone this further. This running in circles needs to stop. But don't hold your breath.

Tough love from friends

The Dutch were always seen as Britain's closest allies across the channel. Economically they certainly have a lot to lose from Brexit. But nevertheless, Netherlands Prime Minister Mark Rutte dispensed a dose of tough love for May during last week's summit in Brussels. Her passionate appeal during dinner to continue with the close security cooperation of both sides after Brexit fell on deaf ears. And Rutte added a pointed warning about the dangers of a hard Brexit and said on security that things "certainly would not stay as they are."

His counterpart Leo Varadkar from Ireland also added this comment looking toward the meeting at Chequers: "I did say, and she (May) understood me, that there really isn't any point in putting forward something that couldn't possibly form the basis of negotiations and that would be anything that engaged in cherry picking." Where are your friends when you need them?

Successors like mushrooms from the ground

They multiply like mushrooms in the rain: A plethora of candidates are currently jockeying for position in order to succeed May. Observers have counted 20 would-be prime ministers, from the unlikely to the ludicrous. Michael Gove is back on the scene and thinks he stands a chance after he had so spectacularly mismanaged things in 2016 by pushing for Brexit and failing to win the Tory leadership race. These days he's minister for the environment, boring everyone with his plan to forbid plastic straws. He is still a core Brexiteer and is said to have physically ripped up one of the PM's customs plans. Incredible enough "mother" Andrea Leadsome, also from 2016's failed cohort, thinks she could get back into the game. She has been mired in obscurity of late as leader of the House of Commons and will supposedly stay there.

Then there is the very young defense minister, Gavin Williamson, who bravely told Russian President Vladimir Putin to "shut up" after the Skripal poisoning and is now demanding billions more for the British army. His top officers, however, think he should not be left alone with a loaded gun. Home Office Minister Sajid Javid is also said to be maneuvering to get to the front of the shortlist. His views on Brexit are ambiguous but Javid would certainly be ready to pin his flag to any mast sailing by.

And then we have the inevitable hard core Brexiteers like MP Jacob Rees-Mogg, who is strutting about in his double breasted suits as if the job in Downing Street were his for the picking. Did we forget somebody important? Boris Johnson of course, but enough said about him.

All these folks dream about toppling May for her handling of Brexit. They have not had much luck so far, because she avoided doing anything. But in case the PM should take decisive action, they are, somehow, ready to jump.

Doctor, doctor, this hurts

The UK's National Health Service (NHS) is preparing for a hard Brexit. Not because it awaits large numbers of nervous breakdowns among British civil servants but because it fears imported medicines could run out within two weeks.

All public hospitals have also received a letter asking them to talk their European staff into staying on. Every 10th doctor and 14th nurse in the system is from the EU and last year they started leaving in droves. It would be impossible to replace the medical personnel from other regions of the world, administrators warned. So please tell your EU doctors and nurses, they should not carry a grudge. Brexit surely was not about them and their invaluable work for Britain's NHS. Brexit was about … what was it really about?