Christmas Classes
November 16, 2007
Before throwing ourselves into this year's festive preparations, perhaps we should all settle down for a moment -- with a cup of eggnog, if necessary -- and reexamine the hellish memories of last year's Yuletide experience that we've spent the last 10 months trying to erase.
By the time Christmas comes round again, most people will have forgotten some or all of the following: the turkey was burnt, your uncle was drunk before lunch, and your parents fought all afternoon over dad's lack of washing up assistance.
Your mind also has, thankfully, suppressed the fact that grandma bought you the exact same gift as on your birthday and the cat chewed through the Christmas lights, setting fire to the carpet and giving the living room a foul smell until long after New Year's.
While Christmas is a time for reflection, family, and the giving and receiving of gifts; it is also the time of year where the chances of everything going pear-shaped rapidly increase.
Academy to teach lessons in Christmas
Well, if you're German and lucky enough to live in the considerate city of Trier, you could be on the verge of waving goodbye to disastrous Christmases.
The city knows the chances of a Christmas actually turning out merry increase exponentially if the circumstances aren't left to chance. That's why Trier has set up a Christmas Academy where attendees can prepare for the festive season.
Children can practice their hymns and get those extended family piano sing-a-longs just right as mum burns her way through a whole flock of poultry on the way to the perfect Christmas bird.
Tree trimming and fir maintenance courses will be available for dads, and parental planning tuition is encouraged for all those catering to a larger brood. Everything from present buying to post-dinner activities will be touched upon.
At press time, there was no news on whether there would be any instruction on how to extricate yourself from the whole sorry event and spend a fortnight on a tropical island without incurring a year's worth of your mother's wrath.