Losing a parent to COVID-19

Julius Garza, 14, plays computer games while mourning the loss of his father, who died from COVID-19 in December 2020, in Converse, Texas. Julius remembers more than his brother Aidan about what life was like before that day late in 2015 when Margaret and David adopted the boys. "Dad dying was so far the saddest thing that has ever happened in my life," he says. "I can never forgive that."

Brothers Julius Garza, 14, and Aidan Garza, 12, say a prayer in honor of their father, David Garza, who died from COVID-19. On the 30th of every month, the Garza family commemorates the life of father and husband David, whose birthday was on April 30 and who died on December 30, 2020.

Margaret Garza hugs her son, Julius. His birth mother abandoned him and his brother, and his birth father was sent to prison for abusing his stepsister, pushing them into the foster care system. Now, Julius is struggling to understand losing David after all he went through.

Justise McGowan, 13, also lost her father, who died from COVID-19 in May 2020. She sits on the stairs on the day of her father's birthday, in Matteson, Illinois. "One million COVID deaths, one million empty chairs around the family dinner table, each irreplaceable losses," said President Joe Biden in a televised statement after the US recently surpassed 1 million deaths.

Justise's mother, Dr. Sandra McGowan-Watts, has been trying to maintain as much of her daughter's routine as possible. Last summer, when the bushes in her yard needed to be trimmed, Justise found her dad's hedge trimmers and got to work. "She does the things that he would do," says McGowan-Watts.

Justise pulls a baking sheet of cookies from the oven, a tradition she shared with her father. Life changed for many children overnight, and they have been struggling with the emotional challenges.

No government program at any level is tracking American children, such as Aidan and his big brother Julius, who have lost a parent. But researchers have estimated that more than 213,000 kids have lost at least one primary caregiver to COVID-19.

Aidan often talks about his dad in the present tense, as if David were still right across the living room, sitting in his favorite chair, calling the 12-year-old over to watch a "Star Wars" film. "He's such a warm guy," says Aidan. "Every time I would hug him, I feel like I'm touching a cloud."

Aidan, Julius and Margaret pray together next to David's urn, which they call "the vessel." Margaret made sure that her sons received counseling after their dad died. While many are looking forward to the end of the pandemic, families such as Aidan and Julius' show its profound and enduring impact. "Our 'normal' is not going to be like anyone else's, because we lost someone," says Margaret.