It's rare that anyone from my home country of Croatia asks me about everyday life in Germany. For the longest time I thought this was just because they had enough problems of their own to worry about.
Then I realized that it actually came from their belief that they didn't have to ask because they knew enough about the country. To them — and many others around the world — Germany is a well-structured and organized country where everything works optimally. The people may be a bit reserved, but they are very disciplined. After all, it's common knowledge that German pedestrians stand and wait for the light to change before crossing deserted streets in the middle of the night.
Once in a while I will tell them that's not quite how it is — for instance, the fact that the only thing you can rely on railway operator Deutsche Bahn to be is late. But then they accuse me of exaggerating, calling me a naysayer.
Enter COVID-19
Until recently, even Germans believed the efficiency cliche. Then came the coronavirus crisis.
It started with face masks: When the decision to make them mandatory was finally made — after long, drawn-out debates about their usefulness — it became clear that there weren't enough of them available. Germany, the fourth-largest industrialized country on the planet, was then unable to secure enough supplies on global markets to make up for the shortfall. So people began sewing their own masks.
When schools closed down, it quickly became evident that almost none of them could meet the technical criteria required to offer online classes.
When the new academic year began in late summer, people saw — big surprise — that the virus was still there! But no one had thought to install ventilation systems while schools were empty.
The same goes for well-functioning Wi-Fi systems. Digital learning platforms in several states, for instance, crashed on the first day of online schooling after schools were again forced to close in December. Many laptops earmarked for students from low-income families often went undelivered — this to children already becoming the victims of a looming education-policy catastrophe.
Then came the vaccine disaster. True, the German company BioNTech was the first to offer an extremely effective coronavirus vaccine. The German government even funded the project — yet it failed to punctually order the doses it needed in sufficient quantities. The spectacular fumble segued straight into the country's poorly organized vaccination campaign: even with few doses available, many were left unused. Suddenly, Germans were looking at Serbia with envy.
Germany's delusional self-image
The latest fiasco is the confusion currently surrounding antigen tests. These were to be available in early March, before that date was pushed back. Now they're supposed to be available from mid-March. For free. But where? You can buy them at Aldi!
Now, if not before, the bitter truth is beginning to show through the veneer of the smug cliche. When I talk to Croatians these days, they tend to ask: "What's with you guys over there?"
People in Germany, too, are wondering this with increasing disbelief. Their assessments of the situation range from "not off to a smooth start," to "disastrous" and "a total failure." With each passing day, the splendid image the country had of itself is slowly melting away.
Digital detox with Deutsche Bahn
None of this is new. And this isn't just about Deutsche Bahn being the laughing stock of the nation for always running late. Take, for instance, one of the most common campaign promises in any German election: Digitalization is key to the country's future. Everyone can agree that we have to work hard to aggressively foster it — the problem is actually doing it.
When, five years ago, Chinese investors bought the robotics company Kuka — a world market leader in the field — there was a huge outcry about cutting-edge German technology being sold off to foreign competitors. What critics often failed to see was that Germany lacks sufficient infrastructure to use Kuka's technology to its full extent. To this day, the 5G broadband network needed to fuel Industry 4.0 is still in its infancy in Germany.
In Croatia, you have to head deep into the forests and first drive away the bears and wolves before you arrive at a place with no cell phone reception. In Germany, you just need to hop in the ICE high-speed train from Cologne to Munich. There are enough "Funklöcher" or "dead spaces" to make for an entirely relaxing trip: DB — offering digital detox with every business trip.
Getting back to the front of the pack
Many of Germany's public authorities still send data via fax (younger readers will want to Google that). The Bundeswehr — a NATO army — has difficulty communicating within its ranks because of the myriad of software used by different sections.
All of this is quite sobering for most Germans, because for them it is simply a given that Germany plays at the top of its class globally, whatever the discipline, be it building automobiles or playing soccer. Nevertheless, it doesn't seem right to overdramatize the situation either; a lot of things in Germany work better than in many places around the world. And the country is still playing in the big leagues, even if it isn't always at the front of the pack.
In order to get back there, Germany will have to drop the nice but, alas, fallacious illusion of itself as a world champion organizer. A reality check is really overdue, as is a realization that being seen as just "normal" isn't an insult. They started doing it abroad long ago.
This article has been translated from German.