Ukraine international Kozlova: 'I was numb'

Two days before Russia began its invasion, the women's national football team were still celebrating winning the Turkish Women's Cup in Alanya. They were hoping it would be the start to a great calendar year. 

Then they went their separate ways. Some players stayed in Turkey at their clubs' training camps, while some went straight back to Ukraine. The rest flew back to their European clubs — including Nicole Kozlova, who currently plays for HB Koge in Denmark. When Kozlova woke up in her adopted home the morning after her return, everything had changed and the world had been turned upside down. Suddenly, there was war in Ukraine.

"The first few days were hard, I was numb to it all," she told DW. "I felt all sorts of emotions, anger, fear, guilt, sadness. I felt guilt that, after national team camp, I got to go back to Denmark and continue playing professional football, while my teammates came back home to being woken up by bombs and having to hide in their own country, afraid for their life with football not even crossing their minds." 

Kozlova, who grew up in Canada, fears for her family and her friends from afar. She maintains contact and regularly receives messages or videos, filmed from homes in the middle of the war zone. 

"Nobody knows what the next hour will bring or if where they are staying will stay quiet. They worry for their family, for their friends, for their soldiers, for Ukrainians, for their country," she said. "Many of them have had to leave their homes. It is heartbreaking for them to see their cities being destroyed, their life being destroyed right in front of their eyes."

Kozlova's concern also revolves around the safety of her teammates. After all, about half of them play in Kharkiv, one of the most contested areas in Ukraine, for the Ukrainian perennial champions Zhytlobud-1. 

World Cup qualifiers likely to be postponed

Fortunately the national team players are currently no longer in Kharkiv, Sergii Novikov of the Ukrainian Football Association assured DW. "The situation is more stable because all the players have left their places of residence in the war's hot zones. Now they are in safe places with their families," he said.

The Ukrainians are due to play against Scotland and Hungary in April. The aim is to qualify for the 2023 World Cup in Australia and New Zealand. Four games into their campaign, Ukraine currently sit in fourth place, trailing Hungary, Scotland and group leaders Spain. 

But how and whether the qualification process will continue at all is still up in the air and, according to Novikov, talks with UEFA are ongoing. "We have had some conversation with UEFA and I think, during the war, these matches will be postponed," he said.

Strong criticism of Russian male, female athletes

The situation around Ukrainian women's football has changed entirely, with the future now uncertain. Sanctions against the Russian football federation are not enough, said Novikov, who also holds sportsmen and sportswomen responsible.

"All Russians must understand that they are all also responsible for this war. Let them not remain silent. They have to go out and protest against [Russian President Vladimir] Putin. They are silent, so they are happy with everything." 

But even if the situation seems hopeless, Novikov remains optimistic. "Now we are hiding in bunkers and other safe places, but we will find solutions to support and help our players. First we must finish this crazy war against Russia as soon as possible. Then we will return to sport and football life," he said.

And national player Kozlova remains just as defiant. "We will be back. We will be unbreakable. There are no words to describe what we will feel when we are back together. We are fighting for our freedom. To stay alive, to exist," she said.

This article was translated from German